Muscling into Fitness

It seems as if everyone is getting all pumped up about exercise these days. Maybe we're trying to burn off all those Christmas calories. We might be attempting to earn the dietary rights, in advance, to eat the Dove chocolate roses, Godiva chocolates, Whitman's Samplers and sassy Sweethearts conversation hearts that will possibly come our way on Valentine's Day. Anyway, we are all exercising our aerobic abilities to get into tip-top shape.

Muscling into Fitness - An Exercise in Rhyme

My doctor says to exercise;
I look in the mirror with gawking eyes.
Once I had biceps and iron thighs,
But now I can only rationalize.

I'm so out of shape that I think I would hurt,
And I can't seem to find a single clean shirt.
Besides, I wouldn't want to overexert.
Frankly, I'd much rather eat my dessert.

Guilt doesn't work, and it's not just the cash.
I'd like to go back to the gym in a flash,
But I'm afraid I'd develop a rash
Or lift and grunt into whiplash.

Workouts simply take too darn long,
Waiting in line for machines, to get strong
With guys that are built like old King Kong.
It's just a place I don't belong.

My sneakers are old, and they give me a blister.
Besides, I'm still not as fat as my sister.
I think I might need a breathing assister,
Or maybe a no-membership black-lister.

The guys might ogle my leotard,
As I struggle to make my flabby form hard.
And my body's rather battle-scarred
From years of fitness disregard.

OK, so I'll get up and go to the gym,
'Cause it's true about fitness, "You sink or you swim."
c2008 by Linda Ann Nickerson

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