As an adoptive parent, should you tell your child that he or she is adopted? How and when should you reveal this secret? Should it be a secret at all?
Secrets Are Scary
Family counselors, psychologists and recovery experts of all stripes love to echo a familiar quote: "We are only as sick as our secrets."
Secrets are scary, particularly for children.
Adults may recall certain secrets that loomed in their minds, when they were young. Larger than life, these mysterious unknown keys to reality may have turned to terror. When children realize that key pieces of information are purposely withheld from them, they naturally may wonder what other facts are also hidden?
Never Not Knowing
As an adoptive parent, I can clearly state that my children have never not known that we adopted them. We have made this an absolutely natural part of our family litany. Although months may elapse without the topic even arising, my kids know that they are welcome to ask or discuss this at any time.
When my children leaf through their baby books, they are able to find the new baby announcements, which mention our excitement and joy over their adoption. They can also see copies of their adoption certificates. When we discuss their births and arrivals, I mention how grateful I am that God brought them into our family in such a wonderful and miraculous way.
Simply put, this has never been a secret. As a result, the issue contains no mystery. The children do not have to worry what other secrets their parents may be keeping from them.
Want to read more? Click here to read "Secrets Are Scary."
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